A Useful Review – Mad Alchemy Pure Chamois Cream

I want to be crystal clear on this from the jump. I don’t eat chamois cream. As far as I know, chamois cream is not edible, and anyway it is not sold as ride food. It’s for saucing your chamois, to keep things from getting sore and stingy and generally no bueno. I repeat, not food.

Having said that, Mad Alchemy’s Pure Chamois Cream is really tempting to taste. It’s so soft and velvety, so creamy and nice smelling, like if there were a spoon nearby, I might just sample it. You know, like cherry Chapstick. Don’t tell me you never gave that stuff a lick.

Shimano North America underwrites The Cycling Independent because they believe in what we do. Bless them.

So anyway, Mad Alchemy Pure Chamois Cream. I’m not sure what makes it PURE vs the other obviously contaminated ones, but I will say I like it a lot. This time of year, when everything is sweaty all the time, I depend on a little lubricity to keep the parade on course, if you know what I mean.

MAPCC is light on the skin, does the job, and goes the distance. Its lightness is its brilliance, in my mind. I don’t wanna feel like I just pasted my nether regions before climbing aboard the old steed. Many chamois creams have the consistency of kindergarten paste (which actually is edible). MAPCC is an angel’s kiss in comparison.

Having come this far, I’m not sure there are any other criteria for a chamois cream. I mean, this one smells nice, but it doesn’t have to. It just has to keep my … from …ing, so I can keep riding. It’s WD-40 for your private business. It’s a slip-n-slide for your literal backyard.

OK. I’ll stop now.

One tub, 118mL, is $21, but I’d argue the stuff is priceless given the sacrosanctity of the job assigned to it. If you have opinions on this chamois cream or others, please do leave them in the comments.

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