We are not starting from a place where Journey is a good band or “Wheel in the Sky” is a good song. We’re not doing nostalgia here. I’ll go ahead and spoil the punch by telling you that this song sucks, is dumb, and shouldn’t be on the radio anymore.
As Arena Rock of the ’70s and ’80s goes, it doesn’t get a lot more arena-y than this. If that’s your thing, it’s ok. You like to sing along to power ballads in your car. You cut your hair with a Flowbee and still collect DVDs. I’m not judging you. It’s just not my jam.
I like to think this song and many others were generated by an artificial intelligence sent here by a distant, alien species to test our capacity for meaningless dreck. The truth though, is that “Wheel in the Sky” is about a cyclist who finds him/herself in a situation we are probably all somewhat familiar with, and therefore it’s worth a quick spin through its obscure but poignant lyrics.
To whit:
“Wheel In The Sky”
Winter is here again oh Lord
Haven’t been home in a year or more
I hope she holds on a little longer
This, to me, is clearly about being away on a long solo ride and having your Garmin die, making you late to get back home. You were supposed to go to your sister-in-law’s house for lunch, but that ain’t happenin’ now. You’re not so secretly glad you screwed this up, because your S-I-L’s cole slaw is the WORST, the absolute worst, and she won’t shut up about it. Who puts raisins in cole slaw? Is this also some test by our alien overlords? Better keep pedaling.
Sent a letter on a long summer day
Made of silver, not of clay
Ooh, I’ve been runnin’ down this dusty road
Wait. Is it winter or is it summer? Oh, I see. Overdressed. Classic winter riding mistake. Also, evidently a gravel ride, which provides a better explanation for getting lost than just failing to charge the old GPS unit. The reference to silver is clearly some vain hope that the earings you got her for Valentine’s Day get you out of missing the cole slaw party.
This is a weird song, but it was 1978. If you were alive then, just visualize briefly what pants you were wearing that year, and things start to make more sense.
Ooh, the wheel in the sky keeps on turnin’
I don’t know where I’ll be tomorrow
Wheel in the sky keeps on turnin’
I like this. You didn’t get lost. ‘Lost’ just happened to you. It was beyond your control. She will never go for this as an explanation, but it’s a good misdirection. “God’s plan,” and all that.
I’ve been trying to make it home
Got to make it before too long
Ooh, I can’t take this very much longer, no
Yup. Been there. Also probably had to pee. Have you ever gotten home stupid late from a ride, and you know your significant other is irritated, and you know you should get right into a groveling apology, but you really, really have to pee first? Really takes the gloss off your apology, but needs must. Am I right?
I’m stranded in the sleet and rain
Don’t think I’m ever gonna make it home again
The mornin’ sun is risin’, it’s kissing the day
I’ve done this, emphasized my own suffering like a pre-penance. I mean, who would intentionally be late when the weather is SO terrible, and you were SO worried about whether you were even gonna make it back? Only sociopaths would do that, and people who think dried fruit and cabbage and mayonnaise should ever be in the same zip code together.
Ooh, the wheel in the sky keeps on turnin’
I don’t know where I’ll be tomorrow
Wheel in the sky keeps on turnin’
My, my, my, my, my
For tomorrow
Good thought. She’s mad today, but by tomorrow she’ll be over it, or more likely mad at you for something else you did (or didn’t do). You and she both know that her sister’s cooking is a nightmare. She’s only really mad at you because she had to go over there alone, make an excuse for you, and eat that crap herself.
In assembling your defense, don’t mention that lunch at her sister’s wasn’t in your marriage vows. The old marriage vow defense is like the nuclear option of anger evasion techniques. It’s a risky play, one of those deals where you can be technically right but tragically wrong. Oh well, the couch isn’t too bad, and the dog will make room for you.
Oh, the wheel in the sky keeps on turnin’
Ooh, I don’t know where I’ll be tomorrow
Wheel in the sky keeps me yearning
Ooh, I don’t know, I don’t know
Oh, the wheel in the sky keeps on turnin’
Ooh, I don’t know where I’ll be tomorrow
Wheel in the sky keeps on turnin’
Ooh, I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know
Wheel in the sky keeps on turnin’
Don’t know where I’ll be tomorrow
Ooh, the wheel in the sky keeps turnin’
Wheel in the sky keeps on turnin’
That’s three more stanzas of lyrical nonsense there at the end. This is probably the main problem with the anthemic garbage of this musical era. It went on and on and on, like we didn’t have better places to be, like at our sister-in-law’s or lost down a back road somewhere in the summer/winter/sleet/rain avoiding adult responsibilities like any self-respecting cyclist would.
After all, the wheel in the sky is always turning. Aliens are among us. It’s all bigger and more complicated than our tiny brains have the capacity to process. Journey is still on tour somewhere. And the weather looks fine tomorrow. You should probably ride.
One guy gets it right by wearing sleeves yet screws that up.
I saw Journey in 1978. By accident. It was my first concert. We went to see The Nuge, but Journey was on the bill. The other bands were great—Cheap Trick, Blue Oyster Cult, AC/DC. Then Journey came on. I suddenly had the urge to get a hot dog, so I went to the concessions stand, figuring it would be empty while a band was on. It wasn’t. As I heard “Wheel In The Sky,” then their current hit, wafting through the concourse, half the stadium was in line. in front of me. Clearly, they had the same idea. Almost missed The Nuge. But at least managed to avoid Journey’s entire set. A lot has changed since then. Bon and Malcolm are dead, AC/DC’s broken up, and Ted’s a Nazi. But Journey are as terrible as ever and still polluting bars and street fairs across America. Somewhere, some poor 9 year old is dashing away, looking for the tofu-dog stand, only to be reeled back into the line of fire by a helicopter parent intent on singing along to “Don’t Stop Believin’.” Poor kid.
“This is a weird song, but it was 1978. If you were alive then, just visualize briefly what pants you were wearing that year, and things start to make more sense.” I just passed coffee out my nose…and cannot unsee that shit. LOL