Useless Reviews

I'm tired. I woke up tired. I drank coffee, and nothing much changed. I ate food, and then I felt sleepy. I started working anyway, produced some words and…

A flat tire is nothing. It is the absence of a thing. A soft tire is still something, maybe a way home if you're lucky, but a flat ceases to be anything. If we…

It is undeniably satisfying at first. You feed a sheet of paper in the top, a grinding, mechanical sound issues forth, and the paper is converted to ribbony…

When I was a kid, I found it improbable that a thing with two wheels, a bicycle, could stand upright with a person on it. In my young mind, that defied reason.…

I'm a sweater. No. Not a cardigan, crew neck or crop top, a prolific perspirant, an excreter of egregious quantities of exercise-induced effluent. When the…

Howard Carter, the archaeologist who excavated the Tomb of Tutankhamun, and many of his crew endured a series of unfortunate events afterwards, including the…

For any writer, the chance to coin a phrase is something special. In 10 years when every bike shop has a special section devoted to gravdanas, someone will do…

The Law of Diminishing Returns posits that, at some point, increased investment in a specific process fails to bring commensurate gains. This is how I feel…

Look, don't phone judge me, ok? I am seldom more than a whisper away from hucking the thing in the hedge as I pedal along. The get-off-my-lawn brigade are…

The metaphors abound. In one, I am the minnow, squiggling and wriggling along, minding my own business with both eyes peeled for danger. The bus is a great…