The Long Way Home 5

This week’s piece is titled, “On the Nature of Ambition.” It first appeared on Red Kite Prayer in 2017. 

I never took up cycling to learn anything. I started riding bikes because it was fun. That was enough. But I began to see that as I learned more about the sport, it became more enjoyable. So I started learning. There came a point when cycling began to teach me about me. But I was surprised when I found that sunny, 75-degree days ceased to hold any lessons. I soon realized all the best, deepest lessons came from the hardest days.

I wrote this in 2017 as my marriage was unraveling. I knew we were in danger; I didn’t know we were in the death throes. I can say that this day was significant for me in that it showed me how hard I’ll work for something I want. It helped me survive the isolation I felt in my own home. There are times that I’m still mystified that something so hard, something that can take so much out of me can buoy me through my most desperate times. We writers write to say something true about the world; sometimes those truths show most clearly in our own doubt—Padraig.

Grasshopper Adventure Series

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