We’ve talked about food a bit recently. I like food. Food tastes good. But you know, once you establish some bad habits, they’re hard to break. That’s what makes eating disorders so insidious. An alcoholic doesn’t have to drink to stay alive, but everybody gotta eat.
If you asked my family what the worst thing I eat is, they would respond, “Sardines!” with kimchi a close second. Imagine how they feel when I drop a can of sardines into a bowl of kimchi, stir it up, and jam it in my piehole. In my mind, that’s just two great tastes that taste great together, like a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup for the mildly demented.
Of course, what my kids object to is the smell of these foods. They’ve never tried the foods themselves. And both sardines and kimchi are arguably good for you, so I’m down with this as a regular lunch. If the kids get upset, that only adds to the charm of the dish for me.
My friend Chapman thinks the worst thing I eat is Pop Tarts. In his mind, I am eating them all the time, although, in truth I mainly only eat them when I travel. I opt for unfrosted, brown sugar cinnamon. I’m a purist. And frankly, nothing gets me out the door for a winter hike, quite like a warmed and lightly brown Pop Tart.
As it turns out, a toaster pastry is nothing like the worst thing I put in my mouth though.
I have shoveled cannoli filling in there, straight from the bowl. I like a spicy pork rind too. I’m not above slurping a monster-sized Slurpee occasionally either. Chili dogs? Yes. A hot pocket? Uh huh. Whipped cream straight outta the can? Yup. Oddly, I have done that my whole life, but when my kids picked up the habit, I didn’t care for it. Hypocrisy? Sure.
My buddy John wrote a whole series about doing 30 rides in 30 days as he was coming back from shoulder replacement surgery, and one of the main motivators was his predilection for eating Oreos by the sleeve. I’m not here to judge.
This week’s TCIF asks, what’s the worst thing you eat? Is it an occasional indulgence? Or a regular habit, aka addiction? With most of my culinary weaknesses, I avoid them becoming true problems by not ever having them in house. That’s what I tell Chapman when he makes the gross-face as I sweep the Pop Tart crumbs off my shirt. Also, I don’t really trust people who eat too well. I suspect they’re androids, not that there’s anything wrong with that.