Useless Reviews

Howard Carter, the archaeologist who excavated the Tomb of Tutankhamun, and many of his crew endured a series of unfortunate events afterwards, including the…

For any writer, the chance to coin a phrase is something special. In 10 years when every bike shop has a special section devoted to gravdanas, someone will do…

The Law of Diminishing Returns posits that, at some point, increased investment in a specific process fails to bring commensurate gains. This is how I feel…

Look, don't phone judge me, ok? I am seldom more than a whisper away from hucking the thing in the hedge as I pedal along. The get-off-my-lawn brigade are…

The metaphors abound. In one, I am the minnow, squiggling and wriggling along, minding my own business with both eyes peeled for danger. The bus is a great…

Guys, I'm going to cut straight to the chase on this one. Chamois butter tastes terrible. It's not good on toast, a scone, an English Muffin. I wouldn't…

With time to reflect on my life choices, it seems obvious that this chimichanga was a bad idea. That I didn't give myself the chance to stop sweating before I…

I am not one of those people who pulls on a pair of latex gloves to work on their bike. I admire those people, in a way. They've got that pro vibe, and likely…

A few of you no doubt clicked on the link to this piece with a little trepidation. "Oh, hell," you might have thought. "Is he gonna crap all over kickstands…

If you ever ride with other people, then you've been to the meet up. Maybe you even hosted the meet up, like people came to your house to do this thing you…