Fast Frank

Shoes, water bottles, computer, energy bars, air in tires. Check.

Who is here today? Great, Betty is here, she is fast but always works as a team. Joe is here; he always has great stories. Susan is here; she never has a spare tube. And Fast Frank is here. Great. Not!  

Fast Frank. You know him. He shows up on a ride that is always under his fitness level. He has the best equipment. He is fast. He is here to race. Of course, he has never put a race number on his jersey. He is here to prove his speed and racing prowess. He is fast – no doubt. He trains hard. Why did he show up to this ride?

This is a group ride. Do you know what that means? It depends on your group. I have written in the past about types of rides. There are many types of group rides. Today, this is a ‘typical’ fast recreational group ride. An ‘old guy’ once defined it to me as – a group that goes out and rides at a high level for that group and brings everyone along. He went on to speak of how at times it might be blistering fast and at times a bit slow. The overall goal is for the group to go as fast as possible for the overall ride. Not everyone is at the exact same fitness level … or has the same strengths … or slept well last night.

Regardless, a solid group ride is one in which everyone knows his/her place and works as a team. If you are more fit than most, you pull longer (not faster). If you are ‘getting back into shape’ the group shelters you and never expects you to take a pull. The group is glad you are there, and since the goal is for the group to ride quickly, you draft all day. You enjoy the fruits of the others’ labor. It is not that you are not working hard, but you are not as fit this year as you were ‘that’ year. It is not that no one cares, quite the contrary; everyone cares. Everyone is glad you ‘stepped up’ and came to ride with the group. You are a part of the group, and that group is happy to have you join them with no expectations. No, do not pull, we got you.  

But – Fast Frank. Fast Frank is not a team player. He might seem nice, might talk a good game and might help periodically, but all in his biased manner. He should not be on this group ride. He should be on a training ride with the racers. Those rides exist, and it is perfectly OK to go out and ‘ride like a race,’ but it should be done with a group designed for that. Today, Fast Frank hangs in the back drafting and saving his energy. Weaker riders pull him along. When the terrain turns and matches his strength, he does not move to the front and pull the group along; he attacks the group trying to drop them. Yes, he has saved his energy on the backs of weaker riders and now wants to drop them. His goal is not a group ride rather his goal is to prove (to you/him/the universe) that he is strong, smart, fast and a racer.  

He might be some of those, but a racer he is not. His body is strong. He chose a group ride below his fitness level. Appropriate? Maybe, if you are there to help. His ‘race tactics’ would not be effective in a real race. The old racers in the group know that in a real race, he would not be with the lead group after the first few miles. Fast Frank sees himself as the guy that is stronger and smarter and fancies himself a racer. When you are racing others that are not racing almost any tactic will work. Try that in a real race. Those old racers do not take the bait. Well, not today at least. They are here for the group. Maybe one day there will be only old racers and Fast Frank …  that will be fun.

What makes you a racer? Well, do you race? You know, have you pinned a number on your jersey. No, not the charity rides. Key word – ride. Fast Frank ‘raced’ those folks also. Some ‘raced’ him back. But the racers – they were at a race. I am not being elitist; I am saying that if you want to race, go race. Do not show up at a boxing match with a gun and decide you are a better boxer.  

Have you met Fast Frank? I regret that you probably have. How did you handle him? Ignore his attacks? Tell him to find another group? Try to instruct/guide him? Introduce him to a more appropriate group? Tell us about your experiences with Fast Frank and how to identify him before the ride even starts.  

To be clear, it is appropriate to ride fast. It is quite appropriate to ride with a group that (as I did in the past) was a ’take no prisoners’ group. It is not appropriate to show up at a ride that is a level below yours and ’race’ those that are not racing. Bad look. For you and for cycling.