Long form: Life tips to get you out of hot situations …
I was desperate. My assigned partial denture patient could not be any more difficult, had already delayed things to a critical point and I had to complete her treatment to graduate. I could not afford my prosthetics requirements not passing muster with whoever was the prosthetic instructor on for the session. I knew I needed to work with someone consistently to get through it and the only doctor available was the head of the prosthetics department, Doctor Felix. No one, I mean NO ONE wanted to work with him, and students would routinely avoid signing up when he was a clinic proctor. Remove the Nazi stuff and most of the charm from Christoph Walz’s Hans Landa character and you’ll get the idea. He evoked terror and dread from everyone. Time was running out and I felt like I had no choice as not graduating would dwarf any unpleasantry I might face.
The most exigent part of the process was the master impression. It had to be perfect. The lab would be constructing the partial framework and if it did not fit, you’d be down weeks due to the end of the semester lab backlog. That scenario happened to a bunch of my classmates. As my time approached to schedule this impression, I began to consider how I could ensure there would be no remakes. The impression material that we were told to use had very limited stability. A model from these had to be poured immediately and you had one shot at getting it right. Any distortions which were too easy to come by or voids in the pour and you were sunk. The thing was there were other impression materials that were vastly more stable and accurate. I could not understand why we were being made to use what seemed an inferior option. Furthermore, we were told to use stock trays which a few sizes kind of fit but were again another source of distortions and inaccuracy. I decided that there had to be a better way and I hatched a plan (now a hack) to fabricate custom trays to employ the most accurate impression material we had. I figured that at worst Dr Felix would tell me no, throwing in a cold derisive line or two. Instead, he smiled and told me that is how they did it in the graduate clinic and allowed me to proceed. After that, suddenly I was his pal, and things went great. Other members of the prosthetic department began coming around to see what I was up to and not long before I was to finish the year, they offered me a spot in graduate program with the potential to join the department thereafter. Crazy.
I cannot say if this turn of fortune came from that hack, but I’ve never ceased looking for more efficient ways to do things. We’ll get into some in a moment, but first embrace: Zorn!
Music Selection: Zorn: Return to Castle Death Another banger from the fine folks at Sorry State, this brand new album from these Philly metal/punks blends a unique combo of screeching Black Metal (think Venom) meets Void’s John Weiffenbach vocals along with acrobatic guitar work to their precise thrashy maelstrom. I was not knocked out by these guys’ previous outings as the guitar was buried in chorus effects and this ain’t Nirvana. Some of that is still present, but Zorn has trimmed most of it away leaving just a swift surgical steel blade sound. Neoclassical melodies are snuck in throughout, and some creepy organ shows up as well. As such the brief seven songs here are notably catchier than their previous efforts. You know, if you’re a sick-o that digs this kind of aural lunacy. #rhetoricalmuch
If that’s too much for yinz please cue up this episode’s namesake.
The heat, my god the heat!!! I have prattled on about summer riding strategies in the past, but here are some newer hacks that I have employed in the schvitz of ‘26. As a refresher, I grew up and live in the deep south. I’ve ridden year-round forever and these days I still get in at least 3-4 or more mountain bike rides a week. The standard alternatives to dealing with the heat (not riding—yeah not for me, working out inside—sometimes, riding an e-bike-that’s for another discussion*, or doing something with water: e.g., swimming, surfing, et cetera) are all still of course reasonable. However, let’s not lose the plot; this is mountain biking, dammit!
*Hold onto your hats! E-bike nonsense forthcoming in future episodes.
First let’s talk about hot laps. While every ride in our current climate is a hot lap, I’m referring to rides of less than 1.5 hours. These are on trails you know well, that you can maintain a consistent cadence and higher speed on. I remain a minimalist as to what I bring on rides, but even less is needed on these. Furthermore, despite my adoration of pirate/illegal trails, I generally keep these rides in local parks where I will have a lower potential of unfamiliarity. Additionally, I stay in parks that have a thick canopy to minimize the sun from cooking me. I keep my stops to a minimum—if at all—and maintain my speed maybe a skosh higher than usual. I still get drenched in sweat but spending less than 1.5 hours out keeps the misery index down. These rides are ideal for achieving that often-discussed popular TCI subject of flow state. Nevertheless, I still seek out those moments of chaos, albeit in a briefer window.
Moving on, “Destroy Your Television” was a popular bumper sticker in the late 20th century. In a way we did and replaced them with smartphones. Almost everyone could get along just fine on rides without them as most of their functions for this activity are extraneous. However, the damn things are just too convenient for one’s access to music, maps, weather, and worst-case scenarios. I don’t know anyone that doesn’t carry one with them on rides. There are plenty of vexing behaviors/activities associated with this; hell, I had a kid nearly run into me as he was texting and not looking where he was going.
Now, most can get by with maybe looking at their smartphone almost zero times on a ride, but mine has my CGM (continuous glucose monitor) app and I check it constantly through the day. This would not be a big deal, but in the swelter my gloves/hands get soaked and then the screen will not respond. I’ve tried putting my phone in plastic bags, taking my gloves off, and even keeping a small chamois towel to dry my digits off with only a modest level of success. Then it hit me; why not avoid touching the screen all together and use a stylus (capacitance pen)? I had an old one lying around so I gave it a shot. It worked perfectly, but I decided to find something super minimal that I could keep in my Muc-Off phone case. There are certainly other options here, but these little guys are ideal despite being distributed by the evil company named after a river. This is certainly a niche concern on my part, but if you are schwette fool that needs to peep your smartphone this is a great hack when you find yourself in a cloaca of a day.