Useless Reviews

What product on the market today holds out greater hope of usefulness than an energy drink? ENERGY!!! We all need it. We all want it. We know, just know, deep…

I have become convinced that the modern saddle is fundamentally flawed, specifically that the shape we have all become inured to is, in fact, wrong. This idea…

There it went, slipping from betwixt thumb and forefinger, glinting briefly in the basement's halogen light, and then disappearing into a realm beyond the…

I don't really want to review chocolate milk, which is a fine thing to drink. I never bought it as a recovery beverage, no matter how many triathletes told me…

Writing reviews of things that don't need to be reviewed or are no longer available is useless, but what's even more useless is writing a review of a thing…

Once upon a time, a human person said "Close, but no banana!" No banana? No banana? First of all, how is it that I'm being compensated in fruit? OK. OK. Fruit…

My favorite water bottle is a beguiling olive drab in color with a white graphic on it. It has an orange top. I received this water bottle for completing an…

Someone smart once told me that a good relationship wasn't 50/50; it was actually 60/60, requiring both sides to come past halfway to make it work. The Sharrow…

I like to imagine that before handlebars, some bespectacled inventor tried to steer a wheeled machine by way of a rudder. Perhaps they would have named this…

This stupid pump is not going to inflate this stupid tire. I'm not sure who designed the head on this thing, but it is not going to clamp the valve stem and…