Ebullition/Doubt 36: What You Looking At?

I know a great deal of people that have been diagnosed with assorted degrees and combinations of neurodevelopmental disorders (NDD). I do not necessarily believe there are a larger percentage of people with NDD out there now versus fifty years ago, but rather science has been able to diagnose and classify them in far more specific ways as well as having better treatment modalities available. It is spoken of in a far more respectable manner than in the past and simply a regular part of the human condition. Treatment thereof is far less scattershot than it used to be. Additionally, the public is far more sensitive to these issues than ever before.

The days when slurs regarding mental illnesses were a routine thing are thankfully behind us for the most part. Dog knows, friends and I hassled one another mercilessly when anyone did something less than ideal (dumb). I was never specifically diagnosed with any sort of mental problems as a kid or otherwise, but when you can look up anything on anything, it’s easy to begin to wonder whether not maybe they missed something. My friends definitely still wonder and tell me so in the most polite ways routinely.

My friends’ mutual hazing efforts aside, I am always looking around and find it to be a terrific mental “toothbrush” (toilet brush?) after staring at one too many screens. This is also true while I’m on rides. Sometimes this lessened focus can be a problem, but more often than not it becomes an ongoing treasure hunt for prizes I did not know I was looking for. I’ll get into this below but first take a hit.

Music Selection: One hitters. Early in the pop and rock music worlds cranking out chart-topping hits was the focus for any artist or at least their managers/publishing companies. Despite the onslaught of what was then known as album-oriented rock (aka Classic rock) in the late 1960s there have always been efforts to find that one magic song that is going to grab the audience. It is on rare occasion that every song on an album kills. Usually there are a few standouts and the rest are just okay and at worst filler*. Up until the late 1980’s early 90s you’d hear a song you might like, go buy thealbum and have no idea what you were in for. Now of course you can purchase/stream only what you want, but I still buy entire albums, physical or digital versions when I amstruck by a song I like. As with the following disparate examples, the rest of both recordings are also good, but it is these individual tracks that grabbed me.

*not these, but whatever turns you on.

**ironically the song with the title “filler” was definitely not filler, but I digress.Car Seat Headrest: 1 Will Toledo’s earliest output with the CSH moniker. This mostly consists of brooding fun, but messy lo-fi recordings that echo bits of Sebadoh, early Velvet Underground and other pillars of the style. However, the song Tybee Island Horse Ghosts has an amazing verse/chorus vibe and a kewl af noisy guitar tone.

Steel Bearing Hand: S/T These Texas merchants of metal dance around the Black, Doom, Death metal subgenres on this debut. However the track Kneel Before the Steel is classic ripping thrash metal ala Exodus, early Metallica and modern succesors like Municipal Waste. The fact that my short-attention span punk rock tuchus digs this seven plus minute basher without getting bored should tell you something.

Treasure hunting with Aunt Joan and why I look around: Any friend of my mom’s was always an aunt or uncle to me despite not being a true blood relation. Aunt Joan was a neighbor of ours when we lived in a one room apartment following my parents’ divorce as my mom had moved down to Durham to attend Duke for her graduate degree. I was just barely in kindergarten at that point and while I remember hearing a great deal of Steely Dan and Cat Stevens being played the biggest thing that stuck with me from Aunt Joan was her teaching me to treasure hunt. Basically, she told me to always scan the ground ahead while walking along as all sorts of things (treasure) could be found. My mother, her and I walked around a lot then and I was always on the lookout thereafter for treasures.

These treasure hunts have evolved in the five decades since I learned about them. I began to simply look around at everything and everyone. One of my favorite places to engage in this is airports. The treasure hunt has become a game where I wonder a sprawling gamut of possibilities. Where are the people I gaze upon going? What made them choose their attire? Where did they come from? What are they listening to in their headphones? What were they like as children or conversely what will they look like as adults? It almost seems more energizing (amusing?) when I happen to lock eyes with whomever is my target. Maybe they are playing too, but I doubt it. Regardless, I can find endless entertainment playing this game.

Realistically, I am now always playing this game. On bike rides it translates to things I find on trails, seeing animals, observing other riders and trail users and considering the previous questions. Sure, sometimes I can get lost in my view even so much as to veer off course. However, since my racing days are mostly (never say never) behind me, I am not concerned about my max speeds, power output or whatever. I much prefer finding new treasures. The latest cache included random golf balls, a wheelchair, disregarded dishwasher parts an abandoned shell of a car and seeing a guy with oddly long toes. Maybe this could be construed as a lack of focus. Maybe I should see someone…oh wait, I am seeing many someone’s, things and such. So, what are you looking at?