A Horrible Sense of Belonging

Conformity. The pressure to fit in. And once we fit in, the pressure to stay there, evolving with the in-group’s ideas. If I rewind to the very beginning, the first days I knew how to ride a bike, fitting in was limited to just being able to ride, so that whatever kid-dreamed-up-hijinks were happening, I could participate.

The hijinks themselves were mainly about figuring out where our bikes could take us or what we could do with them once we got there. It remains, in my mind, one of the most perfect times of my life.

But you know, grownups ruin everything.

What is it about adulthood that gets your ideas all mixed up? At some point the best toy you ever had stops being played with and starts to become a very different kind object. The ‘fun’ of cycling changes into another of the things you want to accomplish, that you want to succeed at, that needs to have clear and obvious outcomes.

Now, I’m not saying that none of those things precludes fun. We talked about fun a few weeks back, and we’re all of us here pretty well acquainted with Type 2 fun. Exploring how far and how fast you can go can be fun, even when it involves some concerted not-fun to figure out. Everybody listening is a grown up, so please, don’t let me yuck your yum or yum your yuck. It’s entirely up to you how to feel about riding a bicycle.

But I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about bikes and bike culture and how the bike industry talks about this hobby of ours. We all know the bike contains multitudes. It’s transportation and healthcare and socializing and competition and environmentalism and yes, it’s still actually play, too. 

In fact, I think a lot of cyclists are playing and they don’t even know it. Like if you’re doing all the things that pro racers do and not racing, then you’re playing. I’m not sure it’s a great game, but it does look like a game to me.

And that really brings me back to conformity. I think, in the beginning, riding a bike as an adult looks like a fun thing to do, but adulthood is insidious, and once you commit yourself to riding regularly, it’s likely you’ll get sucked into one of the riding cultures. You’ll push your body harder. You’ll probably accrue more stuff. You might start reading about stuff you’re not going to acquire. You might begin thinking it’s a good idea to talk about shock travel or tire pressure.

You learn things and some of what you learn isn’t fact, but prevailing opinion. You might adopt a style, and that style might not be very stylish, but just the outward reflection of the in-group you’ve joined. Before you know it, you’re doing the things you think you’re supposed to do, looking the way you think you’re supposed to look.

You’re still playing maybe, but the play has gotten pretty serious and pretty narrow in its rules, and I wonder if this is really what we were looking for. Instead of a fun and creative way to express ourselves, it’s become one more thing to try to get right.

And as I said before and will take pains to say again, that might work for you. I’m not here to tell you you’re not having fun. All I’m saying is that it might be a good idea to ask yourself what parts of it suit your needs, and which parts are maybe superfluous to your sense of well-being.

This, of course, is coming from someone who has been all the way down the bottom of the rabbit hole with bike riding. These are the questions I’m busy asking myself.