Being fake was such a huge thing when I was growing up. A huge bad thing. If you were a fake punker, you were a poseur. People who would befriend you just for some sort of connection or advantage were considered plastic. Styrofoam was disgraced in song. There was nothing worse. This seemed worse than being just being a bad guy. However, there are many grays between black and white. I have long enjoyed repurposing things from turning bedsheets into shorts to making freeride hardtails into snow bikes, commuters and other occasionally hair-brained ideas. Today we’ll talk about some recent ones that I’ve enjoyed. However, first let’s cue up some old tunes from the mighty Negative Approach who graciously (unknowingly) supplied me with this week’s title.*
*Modern take; surliness intact.
Music: Negative Approach: Total Recall Negative Approach (NA) had style for miles during their initial run in the first wave of hardcore. They looked scary, their first eponymous ep had the killer monochrome picture of Reagan from The Exorcist, and they had arguably the burliest singer in John Brannon of any band back then. Brannon’s asthmatic foghorn bellow was unlike anything I’d ever heard this side of my high school coaches screaming at me. Musically NA played simple songs that were not the eventual hyper speed where hardcore was advancing and they had a decidedly Oi sound to them with sing-a-long (scream-a-long?) choruses. I always liked them but felt that their recorded output seemed to lack the impact of their peers. It was clean and tight, but lacked a certain thunder I appreciated. Total Recall compiles all of NA’s recorded output including their first ep and only album, but it’s the live tracks from that period that caught my attention here. I saw them at that time and their sound finally lived up to their style. The live tracks on this compilation bring it all right back as you can feel John Brannon’s roar and the crowd’s sweat all over. This kind of chaos and noise always makes my goat dance.
Rainbow tasting
Wild Berry Skittles No matter how anyone attempts to frame energy bars, chews, gels, beans maybe it’s all just candy. Obviously certain ones have more (maybe) good nutrients, caffeine (never bad) and a wide array of ingredients that you may or may not cotton to dependent on your perspective. Despite this, the virtues of just some plain old candy and/or regular food have been recommended for cycling for years. Skittles have been around since the early 70’s and I was never a fan. I was more into chocolate, caramel, and nougat (Snickers, Reese’s, Twix FTW!) than fruity stuff as a kid. Upon being diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes my candy days dwindled to near zero. I’ve discussed my usual ride snacks previously and those are still valid. However, I stole the Skittles idea from a writer over at Bikerumor.com who is also has the sugars. I favor the Wild Berry mix, (because I’m damn wild!) but the original or tropical I’m sure would be fine too. The things that make Skittles honestly terrific for riding is that they don’t melt and are easily portable (more on this below). Additionally, they are juicy, so they don’t dry your craw out. They are sweet but not cloying and specifically for me is that I can exactly calibrate just how many to eat without going overboard. Having too many carbohydrates on a ride will cause my blood glucose (BG) to spike and make me feel like poo. The energy Skittles provide is fast acting and doesn’t have a lasting effect. That last part is good as snacks with more fat in them tend to hang around in my system longer and will cause my BG to elevate often after the ride. This is a drag requiring me to correct it with additional insulin which can lead to the dreaded yoyo effect where my BG goes up and down making me feel like garbage. More recently the kids on our team now know that I always have them with me which has made our little ride group within the team more popular.** The bag does say sharing right on it, so I abide.
**Now, c’mon! Your parents didn’t tie a porkchop around your neck so the dogs would play with you too?!?
Matador Flatpak Soap Bar Case: The above bag of Skittles I buy is really too big to schlepp on a ride or at the least I don’t wear a pack big enough for it. Plus, I want quick access to these snacks, so I carry them in my pocket. Skittles does sell them in single serving versions, but stuff like that always seems wasteful. I had accomplished my portage of these goodies in Ziplock baggies, but I began to feel this too was wasteful. The baggies would wear out and end up in the trash, meh. Enter the Matador! I must admit the bombast of the name of this product tickles my irreverence bone. It is as the name states designed for carrying soap bars on camping trips. I had purchased one these many years ago for exactly that, but something like this could be valid for my new purpose. I started thinking about a small pocket-sized pouch that could work like a Ziplock to seal up my treats, be at least water-resistant, and not disposable. I couldn’t remember the name but then found it meandering around REI. It has worked out perfectly. Its size is perfect, my Skittles stay dry and as a bonus it has a roll top with a clip which is in fact easier to get into with gloves on than any baggie. I am well aware that a million and one similar solutions exist so hit me up with any other ways you’d solve this. Still, I dig this little hack and unfurling the top feels like I’m opening a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.