I was determined to get a morning ride in. Weather be damned and damned it was. Still, I figured I could just do a lap and a half instead of my usual two at this park and that would be fine. I had recently completed some maintenance, so my bike was working great, I had the day off and felt good. It was sunny with some clouds, but no rain in the forecast. Yet, this is summer in the deep south, and it was more than 90° with high humidity. Despite some rain earlier in the week the trails were mostly in good shape and being a weekday, it was not crowded. Nonetheless, the weather damned me but good. Barely a third of the way through I was a sweat-drenched mess with even my shoes being soaked like I had walked through a creek. Yeah, a total schvitz and towards the end of the ride I was exhausted. I had to pull off to regain my composure to even have enough energy to make it up the final climb back to the trailhead. I have ridden for years in these kinds of conditions and my constitution as well my fitness is as good as they have ever been, so I don’t know. Maybe I did not drink or eat enough or maybe I could have dressed differently. These are all reasonable conclusions that could have led to my exhaustion doom. Yet maybe there was another way. We’ll see, but first more doom!!!
Telekinetic Yeti: Primordial Music is always a foundation or framework for moods and efforts. I have made mix tapes and now playlists for all sorts of projects from having my head blown off while riding, to downtempo grooves at work, to race day rockers and bike maintenance mixes and/or household chores. I don’t what it is about doom metal that works for me for cleaning dishes and folding laundry. Perhaps it’s an invisible metronome that triggers that one neuron in my brain that isn’t charbroiled. Telekinetic Yeti get tagged under doom, stoner metal and the related and I suppose that points one down the path they trudge. However, I think a better descriptor is that they are more of a Sativa blast than an Indica crush to stay in grasser dialect. High energy, driving numbers that never drag. This duo brings some serious chops and unexpected nods to Whores with some nutty/noisy riffing and even some Clutch-style grooves. The vocals are neither too operatic, Cookie Monster-esque nor screamy and the overall mix is gigantic. Fans of Red Fang and Mother Iron Horse this is right up your alley.
I never gave a good goddamn about golf. This was despite spending many hours on courses with my grandfather who was fanatical about it. The most entertaining thing after my pop’s hilarious banter was getting to drive those electric golf carts. He purposely rented them for me as he would always walk the courses if I wasn’t around. I’d drive these things maniacally to the point of getting yelled at by greenskeepers on occasion and such were my earliest electric mobility experiences. Fun as it was, I never gave it much thought with my mobility time becoming invested in bicycles, skateboards and cars.
Fast forward to 2014 and several pals and I were in Steamboat Springs for the IMBA fest. The event, the riding and the location were all great. One of our crew took a bad spill and decided to sit out the next day’s park riding. However, he demoed a Haibike, an e-bike from a European group that had bikes in the vendor area. People were already talking about e-bikes at that point, but no one really seemed to take them seriously and certainly not as any real existential threat to mountain biking. These things were not esthetic (that’s being generous) at all and barely even resembled anything you’d want to ride. Nevertheless, our injured pal came rolling up to us at the base of a run and said we had to try it. We all took turns riding up a slightly steep fire road and all came away impressed feeling like we had just conquered Ventoux. Over the next several years thereafter more of my friends purchased them with the vast majority from Specialized who were and remain off the front in terms of design, integration, esthetics and function. Those early e-bikes were clunky, but it was hard to argue with the thrill.
Plenty has been written about e-bikes, and I see no reason reiterating the many points that people make about them both positive and negative. However, I will relate my own take on them that I rarely see mentioned. I acquired my Levo, a used one that my pal and I rebuilt* and heavily modded a couple of years ago. My time aboard it may account for maybe no more than ten percent of my total ride time. I view riding the Levo which I’ve affectionally dubbed the Crankenberry (see sticker on the upper left) as a very different experience than riding my other mountain bikes. I liken riding it to wrestling a wild pig. It is a big heavy beast with plenty of travel that takes effort to throw around even though you can smash through/ride over just about anything you come across. It does not care if the conditions are crap and little to nothing will stop it other than running out of power**.
*Only for those who really know their way around bike building and/or are true masochists. Such an undertaking should not be done around those with sensitive ears due to the guaranteed excessive dropping of f-bombs.
**I have a new Gen 3 motor in mine with an older 700w battery. I ride with a friend that has a new Gen 4, and I can generally get close to the same range of more than 30 miles if I ride smart.
It is this unstoppable character that makes it in fact a nice alternative to an Amish bike when the conditions (weather or you) are not ideal. When it is like a furnace outside and regular mountain bike rides end up being at best a sweat soaked burner an e-bike lets me get in a fun ride in a shorter period without near heat exhaustion levels of exertion. Additionally, on the less groomed trails I favor you can smash through without getting hung up on trail detritus that would otherwise halt your pedal bike progress.
Lastly, I will reiterate an oft repeated concept, but in a slightly different way. E-bikes have become training tools for pro-level riders as they can do multiple runs on trail segments to hone their handling skills with a significantly lower aerobic tax. However, put another way if you are already a good rider an e-bike will let you do things that are near impossible on a regular bike or at the least much more demanding. I still ride my regular bikes way more as noted they are a very different experience which I still prize. However, I suspect in the coming years we’ll see e-bikes that will be so close in weight and handling to regular mountain bikes that you will be able to just pedal as normal without penalty and use the assist as desired. Road e-bikes are damn close to this point already and the mountain e-bike SL (super light) versions are closing in. I plan to demo an SL soon and I hope curiosity doesn’t kill this sweaty cat.
PS: I returned to do the same ride in the same heat a couple of days later. I fueled well, wore a more breathable ensemble and completed my ride feeling much better even nabbing a PR. Maybe it was all just a fever dream.